Yesterday I had moments of feeling refreshed when I was thinking about what changes I would make in the schoolwork I give the kids. If insanity is doing the same thing over and over again hoping for a different result, then refreshment comes with making changes and knowing that different results are possible. Maybe I can reduce a bit of the day to day struggles.
Today I felt refreshed when I had a conversation with a friend, and as I drove away afterwards I had a sense of joy. I felt pleased because the conversation connected me with so much of who I am. Living day to day with my children complaining because they don't like supper or they want me to do something with them, I find myself forgetting who I am. Getting out and talking, I remembered my love of history, and how I used to work at a historic site. I remembered the newspaper office I grew up in and the fleeting thoughts I have that perhaps someday I'll try my hand at journalism. I remember that I believe in trying to join the public conversations about the ethical questions of our day, and that I have things to offer. I'm not the academic I wish I was. I'm not a great housekeeper. I'm not a professional anything, but there's hope for tomorrow being a little bit easier than today, and the "me" that I am made up of includes some successes and good things, not just my failings.
What refreshes you?
Wonderful post! It's been a while since my daughter was little, but I can certainly connect with what you mean regarding finding/losing who you are. I was able to get out in the work force during the day, so that helped. One spends so much time caring for and raising children it is easy to lose track of who we are. You're life becomes them, our identity becomes parent, which is certainly a good thing, but challenging. Throw in home schooling and it is even more challenging I'm sure. I am so happy that you have are reconnected with who you are. It's funny, because history and writing are two of my passions as well. You run a wonderful blog that I am so happy I found and I'm certain your children are lucky to have a mother like you. I hope that you are able to continue to pursue your love of history as well as journalism (your blog is a great start!) Happy holidays!
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